It is a basic human need to be in connection and community with others. Even if you consider yourself a “loner,” you still know that powerful feeling when you’re with someone or a group of people where you feel completely okay being you – knowing that the raw you – is the very thing they appreciate most about you.
We use the term “Love-lis” to describe these types of people. The ones that fuel us with unconditional love and who show up consistently – rain or shine when we need them the most.
I am blessed to be surrounded by an incredible tribe of love-centered friends, but my “Love-lis” weren’t always in such abundance. At one point in my life, I was surrounded by negative and destructive people. I was falling victim to the low energy we co-created.
When we operate at a low vibrational frequency, we tend to attract people ranging from family members, clients, and loved ones who match what we send out.
Signs of low vibrational frequencies include chronic complaining, gossiping, catastrophizing, negativity, blaming, victimizing, and excuse-making. I was engaging in all these behaviors more often than I care to admit.
If you notice that people in your life display these characteristics, check in with yourself. How are you showing up? Are you living from a place of your highest self? How are you communicating? How do you respond when people complain, catastrophize, or gossip?
Once we shift our energy, we become averse to these types of conversations and interactions. We are attracted to people who are positive, engaging, present, caring, supportive, encouraging, loving, and genuine. All of a sudden it seems as if amazing people just begin to appear.
I’m not implying that I or my love-lis are perfect or go through life without making mistakes, saying the wrong thing, hurting other people’s feelings (the list can go on). The difference is that there is a deep thread of love, respect, trust, and honor that permeates these relationships and people. It is a personal commitment to be our highest selves. Forgiving ourselves and others when we make mistakes. Taking ownership of our shadow responses or negative actions. It is being open to our friends calling us on our bullshit when we need to hear the truth. It is giving and receiving honest communications with an open heart.
When it comes to the people you surround yourself with, quality is always more important than quantity.
Today’s sophisticated science is able to measure the vibrational frequency we exude. It may surprise you to know that your frequency radiates (emanating from your heart center) for 6 feet in all directions. That means that you affect and are affected by the energy people exude within 6 feet of your heart.
So, as you begin aligning your tribe of high-vibe people, consider how you feel when you’re around them. This may be your most powerful clue as to whether you want to include them in your tribe or not.
Exercise:
Write down at least three people who fit the description above or whom you feel amazing when you’re around. Next, consider…
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How much time are you spending with them?
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How are you investing in your relationship with them?
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Who else may you want to add or get to know better who fit the descriptions but may not currently be active in your life?